terrified of love

Malayalee churches never talk about relationships.

They never talk a bout sex.

Is it that the church expects the parents to teach it? Or is it that the parents expect the church to teach it?

Or is it that they both expect each other to teach it?

And then the parents put the pressure on the son or daughter to get married and they just wind up settling because they are about to “expire”.

Not that it always ends bad, but many times it does. That’s when we see postcards like this:

But how do you know it’s true love?

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)

“I am my lover’s and my lover is mine” – Song of Solomon 6:3 (NIV)

techy giggle

yes, i upgraded to WordPress 2.7, and yes, I did giggle shortly thereafter. The new dashboard layout is the best dashboard in WordPress history!

Last night I went through and found a bunch of malu bloggers. No reason in particular, but I found a bunch and subscribed to a bunch using Bloglines. In the process I also went a revisted Xanga. Going through the pages of people I used to subscribe to on Xanga is a bit surreal. It’s a whole different world, another time. Everything is just frozen in time. The few people that didn’t delete their Xanga’s still have posts from 2006 and beyond.

It’s like everyone just decided to move out and join Facebook all at the same time.

turkey review

I know it’s a little late,  but I had to put a review of my wonderful Thanksgiving weekend. Well, at least the parts I’m willing to talk about.

Thursday: Double Turkey Special
I went to bed really late the night before, just because I could. We had a lunch at church. Nothing too crazy. My dad and the other pastors spoke briefly, and we were all getting our grub on by 12:30. One table had all the very American Thanksgiving food: Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, corn, and, my favorite, cranberry sauce. The other table had food for the F.O.B. soul: Dosa, chicken curry, uppam, etc.

While we were eating my little cousin told myself and another cousin that it was her dad’s birthday and that her dad didn’t want anyone to know. So, we went and told our parents who promptly decided that we would get a cake and surprise him at his house. I was looking forward to a gathering of my cousins. I went home after lunch and fell into a Tryptophan coma, as did my brother.

We woke up and our parents had already headed over to our uncle’s house. So we changed and left. On the way we stopped at our friends house to get my camera, and we got side-tracked by homemade Amaretto cheesecake. YUMM! When we got to my uncle’s house, everyone had already left.

The line of food at my cousins house
The line of food at my cousins house including the spicy mango chutney

Our next stop for the evening was another cousins house for Thanksgiving dinner. We actually got there before our parents because they stopped by our house first. We had a pretty good meal while we watched a rare Eagles dominated football game.

Friday: Football and a Road Trip
Every Black Friday we have a friendly football game with all the Pente churches. it’s something we’ve been doing for probably a decade or more. It’s always tackle, and someone always gets hurt. We’ve had broken noses, legs, concussions, etc. I chose not to play, because I want to live a long life. So I went to watch and wound up becoming the sole referee. It’s not fun being the only referee in a 9-on-9 football game. We played til we got kicked off by a little league team, ate some lunch and went on our way.

The Gang in NY
The Gang in NY

My way was  home for a shower then a trip to NY with some friends. There was a show put on by St. Thomas Mar Thoma Church in Yonkers called Echos of Praise. Anonymous and Civility performed, some of the 180 guys did an acoustic worship set, and Finney from NDIA gave a good message. We would have done Chicken ‘n’ Rice, but it was late and some people had to be up early the next day. Instead, we did White Castle. Kinda shady locale, but those sliders were great!

Saturday: 9 Baptisms

Pastor and wife performing the baptism together
Pastor and wife performing the baptism together

Nine people got baptized in our church, eight of them were 18 and under, one was the grandmother of one of the eight. The grandmother had difficulty walking and standing, so my mom and her daughter helped her into the pool, but it was an awesome testimony of how God can still use us as witnesses, no matter what point we are at in our lives.  After she was in, my mom stayed in the pool to help her. It was the first time in my dad’s almost 30-year ministry that he performed a baptism alongside his wife. My brother and I thought it was a pretty cool moment. Then we had a meeting which was followed by more food.

Sunday: Bowl-o-rama

Finishing up at the lanes in Brunswick Zone
Finishing up at the lanes in Brunswick Zone

Some friends from out of town came to visit. We had a good time. We bowled, ate, laughed, cried, hi-fived and burned out pretty bright. It was a good ending to a long and enjoyable weekend.

How did your Thanksgiving weekend turn out?

Chinese food conspiracy

I had Chinese food today. Not once, but twice.

At work there’s a Chinese food place nearby that has these lunch specials for about five bucks. The first time I had one, I almost passed out. They had packed enough food into this Styrofoam container to feed a small village.

Thats when I realized that this place was part of the Chinese conspiracy. With all the other bad Chinese products floating around the world, why not use Chinese restaurants in their Communist fight? You see, they want to make us eat a ton of their Fried Rice and Fried Wontons and whatnots, so that when they finally attack us, we’ll be too fat and doped up on MSG to fight back.

Now, I’m trying to watch what I eat, so when my co-worker said we should order Chinese, i said, “No Way!” But somehow, with his Southern charm, he convinces me to do Chinese. So i got the Shrimp in Lobster Sauce combo with Chicken Fried Rice. And as always, it was a bad choice.

So I thought, when I get home I’ll eat something light for dinner. Maybe cereal, or fruits, or whatever. But first, I had to fix my cousins computer. They had the usual, viruses, spyware, etc. Took about two hours to get all that and fix the problems of an unsuccessful double antivirus installation and other mishaps of a poorly maintained computer.

Finally I finished and my aunt had food for me. What was it? Chicken Fried Rice. She said she had bought something else as well. She didn’t know what it was, just something with vegetables and things. She wanted to try something different. I opened it up for her, and there it was Shrimp (and Vegetables) in Lobster Sauce.

I know it’s a conspiracy, and i know you don’t believe me. But have you seen how strong and fast those CHinese were at the Olympics?

Don’t worry, I’ll fogive your lack of trust in my theories when some bionic Chinese soldier is running you down like a fat kid on the playground.

tree ahead

When I was in twelfth grade I hit a tree.

I may have shared this story before in various places already.

I hit this tree going at least a minimum of 20 MPH on a mountain bike.

I hit the tree so hard the front tire was bent out of shape and unrideable. I had to walk it up and out of the woods.

I had a helmet on, but that only protected my head.

At the point of impact, as i unwrapped myself from the tree, i just remember my entire left side feeling numb.

I could still move, but the wind was knocked out of me.

I struggled to catch my breath

I couldn’t focus

nothing else mattered

my arm and leg were moving, but i didn’t really feel anything.

Nothing in my fingers or toes,

or my heart.


just stepped back and thought, what just happened.

then the pain began.

not painful and unbearable.

but a soreness, an emptiness that lingered just enough for me to know something was off.

something big just happened.

i think i hit the tree again

or at least about to.

back in focus

There’s a lot that’s happened and a lot that seems worth mentioning, but at the moment, only this snippet from a recent conversation seems worth writing about.

“I’m just doing my best to trust that God has it all planned out and I just need to wait on his time. Which is hard because I see what I want, and I want it now. But I’ve been realizing that I’m wasting all this energy focusing on insignificant things, when I know God has me where I am right now for a reason and I need to focus on Him before I can focus on anything else.”

in the beginning…

starting fresh

starting new

don’t know where i’m headed

don’t know where i’ll end up

all i know is this is where i am

and where i’ve been

and this is the next step

so have a little faith

mustard-seed-size faith

and we’ll go far

beyond our imaginations

beyond our dreams

beyond their promises

beyond what ever lies beyond

it’ll make sense in the end

because that’s where we’re headed

but for now

we’re here

in the beginning